Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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