I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize