belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
My liver just broke up with me...
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Randomize
