he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
