I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
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