I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
