I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Sober January is a disaster.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
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