he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize