And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
