Ambien. No doubt about it.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Randomize
