idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
