your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
