So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Send help, water and tortillas.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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