Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
