Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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