it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
