We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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