you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
