Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I have post one night stand depression
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