I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
i've created a new STD.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
