She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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