So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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