he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?