Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I wish you could order shots online.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
There's always time for handjobs
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Drake has all the answers
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.