Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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