There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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