He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
He? As in you personified your dick?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Randomize
