Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
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Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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