there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
