At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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