i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
He kissed a someone with a penis
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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