I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Someone signed my nipple.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
