yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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