bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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