I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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