Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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