If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize