i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
well you can't waste a boner
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
