I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
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