I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
