If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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