I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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