He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
