Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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