Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
