david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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