I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
