At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
