Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
