Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
