the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
