Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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