He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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