I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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