i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
