its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
i need some magic done to my vagina
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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