1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
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sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
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Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize