I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
