haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
