id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
