tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize